By the way

Part of what started this was a trust/faith issue recently. I have never had my faith tested the way I did last week. My youngest daughter was in the hospital with pneumonia for 6 days (nov. 9-15). It was a very difficult experience, and while I can now say I am growing, I'm not really sure what happened in the hospital. I know I prayed, but I didn't make any time to listen. I stayed with Jordan the whole time. (for the most part, I took some minor breaks to walk so I didn't gain a ton) I know now, I was carried by God throughout the whole experience, but I can't tell you that I "felt" Him. I know that I was at peace sometime after the first day (after she was out of danger) but I can't tell you that I grew in faith or that I trusted God with the whole situation. Now I am seeking counseling on this matter from a dear friend and hopefully she can and will be able to help me sort this out because I am kind of confused about this. Of course this is the first time I've matured in faith, so forgive me if you already know all this, or have been through this. It's all in all the first time I have been confused in regards to God. Normally He gives me the understanding. I have had to seek counseling before, but this is totally different. Maybe I'll start school and then be able to go to the spiritual formation retreat class thing that my pastor and I talked about a while back. Maybe that will help me? I know studying the bible/reading scripture will. God will lead me to the passages I need to read. Ah well, time to get the rest of these clothes put away, then I think bedtime. I'm way too tired. Emotionally and physically. Will write more when I can. Peace, faith and Love