OH MY GOSH

I'm freaking out a little bit here!!! I am taking a step out in faith and going back to school. We are very nearly broke, can't afford to pay many bills at all, my husband doesn't make much but we are able to take care of our kids. (whew) I have to make an appointment with the counselors at the school the week after thanksgiving. I'm telling you this is a HUGE step for me and I don't know.. I have a crazy whacko case of the "what ifs". I do KNOW beyond a shadow of a doubt that I'm doing the right thing. I'm doing exactly what I'm being led to do (and have been led to do for quite some time, but haven't been paying enough attention, and/or ignoring the call). As much as I hate to admit that I have been ignoring this, it's exactly what I have been doing. I talk about faith, but I'm scared right now. I don't even know why. I know God is in control, and know that everything will be dealt with. I just don't know how I misplaced the faith. I don't know what I did with the trust. I know that everything will come together in His time. I think my problem, is that I want to know what's going to happen. I want to know if Lance will get a raise, or my baby will take off as a model, or I will have to get a job. I want to know all of these things and when they're going to happen. And as much as I know that everything will work out, I am having the hardest time with it. Thinking I need some serious counseling myself. That is, by the way, my calling. To be a Christian counselor. Yes I know that I won't make much money, but I also know I will be well provided for and I will see my rewards in heaven. That is what matters. Not what I get on this earth, other than the satisfaction of knowing I helped someone. What am I doing? Is this right?????? Yes it's right. I NEED to do this. It's what I have to do. It is part of my purpose. Be blessed all. Hopefully I won't pull all my hair out between now and next semester